If I was put into this, I always knew it would come to this

Barbara got her tattoo today. I get mine next week. It's awesome, a fleur de lis with the words from our favorite Nirvana song around it- :Things have never been so swell." Bittersweet, sarcastic and nostalgic. I will miss it...everything...from the last five years. I don't now what to. My winter break kinda sucked alot. Except for today, today was nice. Jessicsa, Barbara, Chad, Julian and me got high last night...haven't done that in forever...it was weird. Don't think I liked it. I guess I'm done dong any of that shit. Nothing to impair me shall enter my body, cuz I don't like the feeling.

Speaking of feeling, hatred is a shitty emotion. It eats you up until you can't breathe or think or speak or move. You are paralzyed withy a negative pull, weighing you down until you want to crack. It's an awful feeling. Everything will be different...cuz the last four years of my life, my trust and decency have been hanging in balance, shredding to piece as they fall. Now, they are back and I know to keep them with me...nobody has ever hads my trust and nobody will. Too many people abuse that privilege when it is given to them, I see it happening to thsoe around me. If you dson't know how to take care of someone's hopes, dreams and the trust they give you, then you don't deserve any of it. Fuck you. Yup, thats it.